I had a really bad nightmare, really awful.
It was bloody & ghastly.
There's bloody everywhere, & i saw a rose,a bleeding rose.
& even a lady miscarriage, carrying her baby.
I don't know what's wrong with me,
keep having this kinda dreams.
damn its haunting me, emo-ness.
& i actually went to search for photos =.=

can you imagine these in your dreams almost everynight?
I daren't put a miscarriage photo here.
Its freaking me out seriously.

today went to Bishan find jz for lunch,
than cabbed home again
had school today, Fashion class
& tons of homework now,damn
after that cabbed to meet my Ahhh Family at Red circle.
& I'm really happy.

we went to Roof Top garden once again.
Sat down there & chit chat till 1045
we really had great time there,
those laughters & all

Thou the time were short,
but i'm gratified(:

These letters melted my heart & eased my mind. At least i know, you still care. & i stand in an important position in you. I'm happy, i will. As long as you guys are here, I will be more than happy. Thank you.

I've a craving for CUPCAKES(:

how random,haha

Monday, August 27, 2007

DARLING!! im so sorry!
i really feel damn useless now, really very sorry.
i read the msg like,just only?

i was home 11 plus, but my phone was all the while in my bag
i was busy blogging,using com so didn't realise anything about my phone at all.
till around 410, i was doing my homework.
so went to dig for my pencil case,that's when i read your message
& im like 4 hours late for your reply lahh.
IM REALLY VERY VERY SORRY.
sincerely man!

kill me, slaughter me, anything!
i deserve it, but don't rape me please.
its too scary.
forgive me lah!
i acutally blog it on net to apologise can!
ITS WORLD WIDE
damnn, next time i become famous i also no face sia

really very sorry.
i can't talk to you now, cause you're asleep
get me when you wake up alrights.
i wanna talk to you(:

was browing thru' the net, came across this picture

it is choice that brought me to this place.
it is choice that has taken me away.
it is choice that tore my heart to shreds
it is choice that will healit is choice to burrow down inside myself
willing the sunlight to not invade
it is choice to seal off a tomb of raw pain
emotions struggling like writhing snakes
it is choice to make a cold decision
unwilling to release its pain, only to escape
will it be choice to emerge into the light
will it be choice to laugh again
will it be choice to find joy and peace
will it be chosen?

i'm chained-up for life. am i?
never had a chance to choose
to either lose this or sacrifice that,
why can't i have them both.
i don't wanna lose any ):

my big aunty came today,
if you people doesn't get what i meant, its actually my period.
HAHA
yes, cramps started to conquere my week stomach in the morning,
while i was still in bed.
but the pain got really unbearable, that i began to toss around my bed, uncomfortably.
it was really damn uncomfortable.
I forgot to take my medications the previous, this is why i have to suffer now.
Remember sec days when i always had my cramps, & my precious or friends will always be there to buy me hot water or milo.
Now i have to takecare of myself.lols

Yepp, Doctor mummy then came to my rescue bringing me my medicine.
& said i'm down with fever too):
Boyfriend came over to accompany me.
Around 7 plus,celest shaun hongzhi & bjorn came to pick us up.

Went to taka with boyfriend to get a life jacket,
thought jingzhi was working at BestDenki so called him to meet up.
After a conversation over the phone, we then realised we can't meet at all/
why? because he's working at BISHAN's =.=

got back to his house, started to pray & burn those "papers" & pay respects to the 7th Month.
quite an experience though, haha.
later we went to pick celest & hongzhi again
drove to bugis for dinner, boy & i had barbeque Steamboat, while the other couple went to eat fish noodle.
then we met up again for mango desserts(:

RANDOM
40 secrets about yourself. be honest no matter what.
[one] what is your natural hair color?
-black : )
[two] where is your default picturetaken?
- Kbox
[three] what's your middle name?
- Jia? haha
[four] what color do you hate most?
- actually,i love colours
five] does your crush like you back?
- eh, no crush now (;
[six] what is your current mood?
- sick
[seven] what color do you like e most ?
- i'm always seen in pink & black
[eight] what makes you most happy?
- just being with my loved ones
[nine] look at a picture/poster inyour room, who's on it?
- many (:
[ten] if you could go back in time and change something, what you wouldchange?
-undo this greatest mistake.
[eleven] if you must be an animal forone day, what would you be?
- bird.
[twelve] ever had a near death experience?
- yes.
[thirteen] something you do a lot?
- eat. ( darling i actually eat more than you, it means i eat alot alot, you make me feel like a pig now )LOL
[fourteen] the song stuck in your head?
- no promises
[fifteen] what is your desktopbackground?
- my graduation night, 11 of us
[sixteen] what are you wearing?
- pyjamas
[seventeen] when was the last time youcried?
- this morning when i read a msg
[eighteen] have you ever sung in frontof a large audience?
- yes, primary school, or in a lift?? LOL
[nineteen] if you could have one superpower what would it be?
- to make everyone happy
[twenty] what's the first thing(s) younotice about the opposite sex?
- his eyes
[twenty-one] what do you usually orderfrom Starbucks?
- chocolate frapaccino with EXTRA whipped cream
[twenty-two] what's your biggestsecret?
-my biggest secret is not to tell anyone my biggest secret
[twenty-three] favorite color?
-erm, i will just say pink & black (:
[twenty-four] is it sunny or raining?
-its night time now, but its not raining either.haha
[twenty-five] do you still watch kiddymovies or TV shows?
- actually, i spend more time on cartoons.LOL
[twenty-six] what are you eating ordrinking at the moment?
- nothing
[twenty-seven] do you speak any other language?
- i speak dog's language
[twenty-eight] what's your favoritesmell?
- johnson baby powder(:
[twenty-nine] if you could describeyour life in one word what would it be?
- happy yet sad
[thirty] when was the last time youreceived a hug?
- just (:
[thirty-one] have you ever kissed inthe rain?
-yes,haha
[thirty-two] what/who are you thinking about right now?
- my perfect family & grandma
[thirty-three] what should you be doing?
- sleeping
[thirty-four] what was the last thingthat made you upset/angry?
- upset/ a msg,friendship & angry/at myself for making this move
[thirty-five] how often do you laugh?
- i laugh everyday
[thirty-six] do you like slacking in the yard?
- never try before, but would love to(: with horses & pigs too!
[thirty-seven] if you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
- till now i don't know what's last name, first name & middle name.HHahahha(i'm being very honest)
[thirty-eight] do you act differently around your crush/significant other?
- no, i'm myself, i want them to love me for who i am.
[thirty-nine] name one song that reminds you of an ex?
- chi xin jue dui
[forty] who was the last person to make you cry?
- a msg sent by that person.

Friday, August 24, 2007

finally gotta meet up with my dearest mei(:
after so long time.
alrights,met darling & espall at 5 plus
jz,ayl & jw happened to be at bugis too.
so we met them awhile before going on seperate ways.
later we met up again at MArina Square for dinner.
caught up quite alot with the girls, especially espall.
loads of interesting stories.
& also her stupid jokes.
also those arguments with jingzhi just made me laugh.
she really brightens up my day.


right, camwhored outside Marina Square.
actually, not me.
Its darling & the rest.
Jz & I sat one corner, trying to call other pple go out.
haha.



US (:


bus-ed 56 back to tpy.our usual hang out

MEI & I

reached tpy, espall went back first. the rest of us strolled all the way to enter mac. sat down for awhile before going home. haha, but jz & i walked to his house downstairs. & sat at the playgroun to talk while. Had a really great chat, we recalled our memories. The times when we were at his hose downstairs, blading,studying or crying. all sorts of stupid things. haha!

talked about love, our group & friendship. felt really better after the talk. Its been a long time,i've a chat with kor as in one to one. we used to chat between us all the time in the past. but onc in a while ain't bad too. get to know more (: yepp. bus-ed back home around 1115(:
darling gave me this letter (: read with love,

& i found this photo, find it really cute & meaningful.Here before our eyes is a track, the paths to our future.walking down this track that spilts,yet we're holding onto each other.True friendship can survive any "divisions" life throws at you.

will our friendship last? I afraid not. The feeling is so different. But i'm still strong(: I'm glad to find those who loves me for who i really am. & forgives me for whatever stupid mistakes i've made. Thismakes me strong.

I asked for forgivenessYet none was givenThey say “ if ye ask, then ye shale receive”All I was allowed to accept Is a half hearted shrugAnd the wait of the world/

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Monday, August 20, 2007

Darling, many times i've blogged about you.
Almost every post of mine,there's your name.
and even you got the honour to be the one & only person mentioned in my posts,
like this one.
many things have happened, we've been thru many torments, ocean of pains.
but what we've gained is worth our struggle & sacrifice.
To me, is this friendship.
This pure & geuine one.
You think this way too, i do hope.
From quarreling like big enemies to the greatest darlings ever.
we did almost everything together, go everywhere together.
sometimes, we had things the same too.
Like our period falling on the same day, we usually got sick together, we cried together, we got high together, we slit our hands together, we helped to apply medicine together.
you see, we're together.
Because of you aching, I am too.
And as a sister, i can't possibly just let you ache alone.

i know studies are driving you crazy,but these are the stages we have to overcome.
if you can't relax yourself nobody can.
even thou i'm not in jc or aint studyin anything you are studying,
but i don't mind just sitting down with you, seeing you studying.
At least i can struggle with you, maybe i could cheer you up alittle when you're stressed up,
or i could encourage you when you're losing faith in yourself.
These are the things i want to do for you, not just plainly sms or blog to show you i care.
I want to share your troubles & sorrows with you, to take them away for a mile or meter.
I don't want all these in your heart & mind, because i'm in yours too.
They're like grey clouds covering over me,
you know i like sunshine, you know i hate grey skies.
you're my sunshine, so chase those grey skies away my dear.

another thing i know is troubling you, him
but what's yours is yours,
yes you can fight for your own destiny & fate,
but ask yourself, isit worth it?
one thing you doesn't have now, is love happiness.
But you have so many people around caring for you,
you have all our brothers & sisters & me.
we can't be greedy, we can't have everything.
we have to learn to be grateful,
because of i chose love, i've lost a kin.
someone so closed to me before is now like a stranger to me.
He's gone so far away, just like the " him" you're thinking of.
but why not just put him in the chamber of your heart, with all the good memories,
& continue leading a happy life.
that will make you feel better.
rather than broodingover why this & that everyday/
as long as the person is still alive in your heart, you should be grateful.
because he/she didn't leae your heart at all, not even an inch.
i won't understand how you're feeling, neither do you.
but it doesnt matter, because we both are aint perfect.
we're not mind readers or something,
but i know as long as we're by one another's sides
i'm more than happy.
Because with you here by me, nothing is impossible.
Staying happy is the easiest thing for me, to smile.

So darling, please smile.
you have to, i hate grey skies & dark clouds.

you're my sunshine, my only sunshine.
you know friend?
take care! loves
darling always.

chatted with lewis kor online,
& we talked about sec school.
this reminds my of my family.
have you heard of my family?
if you haven't, let me leak out somethings for you(:
they're strangers whom i know from Ftpss.
& we became friends,slowly into a family
that's how strangers become friends.

i know you sure have someone you can rely one,
someone you pour your troubles to, someone you share your laughters with?
yes, they're whom i relate to.
my bestest friends in the whole wide world.

i've done so many things with them.
Things like, many friends will do, celebrate one anothers birthday, hang out,shopping & all.
but what makes their significance important isn't that they're here 24/hr for me.
nope, they're not robots.
they let me know what's true friendship means, bringing colours into my life.
Its not about being here for me 24/hr, buying me whatever i want, listening to whatever i say.
but to know how i feels, to listen to me without interupting, not depising me,
but to appreciate me, my actions & thoughts.
they like me for who i am, the spoilt violent brat.
they accept my craziness, my loud laughters, my sometime mood swings.
they even wipe my never ending tears, they feel & apply medicine on my wounds, they carry me,
what's more they're here for me.

Times when we play basketball,soccer,badminton,catching,hide&seek together in school, cc or even shopping centre.
Times when we bladed together around tpy, even on the streets late at night, east coast & pasir ris.
Times when we cycled together at east coast, & pasir ris, lying on the dirty floor counting millions of shimmering stars,
filling the air with laughters, lightening up the dark & quiet park.
Times when we struggled together in Macs, Library, school canteen, school opposite, jz's house downstairs for Os.
Times we sun burnt together,played volleyball,took cable cars,swam in the sea, played the luge & sky rides in Sentosa.
Times when we spent like rich pple at Safra & CRC
Times we were like dolphins in downtown east wildwild wet.
Times when we got lost in the Zoo.
Times we watched fireworks together at Esplanade.
Times when we took bus all the way to jurong, pasir ris.
Places where we had our lunch oftenly, Enter Mac,Snowice,Fork&spoon,Schoolcanteen,Shop&save,CRC' kopitiam
Moments when we all squeezed together & sleep in a damn chalet room.
Naughty times when we fought with one another, bit,kicked & scratched,creamed & run about loudly in the public, pillow fight, ice cream fight,cake fight,waterfight & even whip cream fight.
Foolish times when we slits our hands, doing embarrassing things.
Angry times when we shouted at one another, cold war.
Sad moments when we cried our heart out at roof top garden, enter's playground,jz's playground,school opposite,jz's house downstairs,school.
Happy moments when we felt so loved, to have each & everyone of us to show our care & concern, to accept one another's apologies & having one another's forgiveness.
Wonderful moments when we're all together as one.
If golden chance permits, i will stop these times, to have each & everyone of them close to my heart.
still, times move fast, fate & destiny is changing.
but i will not succumb to fate, no matter how fast time travels.
these people will still station in the very spot of my heart, not moving an inch.
They're like the flames within me, without their pressence,
i'll never be lightened up.
This is how important they are to me.
I thank Lord for giving me these angels

my beloved darling
emo dear & i

Emo lewis ,Aylmer & I
singing on the rooftop(: actually is letterbox.haha

A simple & happy girl who loves sunshine.
Her endeared ones are her essentials.
Loves being in a crowd, yet comfortable being alone
Loves to smile, yet tends to get emotional
Has extreme moodswings,super high & low at times

Loves friendly & cheerful people :)
loves to see everybody smiles,
yes you, SMILE!


JIAYING
11 November 1990
Palin Art School
Artiris
swe3thugz90@Hotmail.com

LOVES!

ENDEARED ONES ♥ God
♥ Family
♥ My bigbig Family!
♥ Boyfriend
♥ Snowie
♥ Nyp cliques
♥ Heeren Girls :)
♥ Sunshine
♥ Piano
♥ Arts & Design
♥ Sunflowers
♥ Singing

LOATHES!

NO SWEET TALKS
Do not boot lick me either
do not accuse me, i fucking hate that
do not insult my friends & family
losing my endeared ones
Flowers except sunflowers :)
Soft toys except hellokitty,kalm & winnie the pooh :)

i know i'm weird :)

WISH!

everybody to be happy
to be with my endeared ones forever!!!
nafa
a box full of yellow stars
a box full of sweets with pink shiny wrappers
black gucci bag
pink dior wallet
hello kitty x'mas tree
a day with ALL my bigbig family
a beautiful sweet 17
hello kitty blanket
sunflowers!
Queen's couture top

MAKE A SOUND!

DARLINKS!

lazy to type down, haha

MISC!

Test one

Create your own Friend Test here Test two

Create your own Friend Test here

MUSIC!

they came by and left;
& they're footprints etched within me
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008



eupholic
dafont
lonelyME
please do not rip this skin or credits.
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