Tuesday, October 31, 2006
met stupid in the morning today before going school; thanks for the 3ferrero rocher and strawberry lollipops=))
thanks for accompanying me; you were dead tired at that time:))
met alvin kor after that too; haha; rushed him like siao; called and smsed him to HURRY!
thanks for the
big hello kitty marshmallows; more than 10 packets;
Thanks!headed to school and met espallmei; jodie dear; yihui
aylmer kor; jz kor; junwen; ed and ct came after that
everybody was very excited to sit for the chinese paper
paper 1 was rather straight forward; i did question 1 and 5
paper 2 was quite tedious; especially the written comprehension
during the 2 papers; i was super sleepy; but had to sit straight =)); can't be dumb pig at that time
finally! one paper's down! next paper will be
artwent lor.7 for lunch with ayl & co; then headed straight home to sleep!
slept until 630!ahaha..was too lazy to go out study le; so stayed at home do art
many said my blog sound so sad
really mehs?hahha! i will try to blog happy things alrights?
hahha. maybe i should change my blog song ; to
you're my sunshine hahah!
how about that?
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
1:31 AM
Monday, October 30, 2006
feeling rather restless now; but still can't sleep
tomorrow's chinese Os paper; Good luck to those who're retaking=))
thanks kw for the tag :))
thanks ben alvinkor; jz kor; aylmerkor; espall mei;darling;yinglin; mummy for the luck :D
thanks stupid for the little luck you wished me; just a little because you believe i got the ability to excel
he msned me just now usual sweet talks (
rubbish); and she called me just now
still feeling depressed and lost after the seperation; im really sorry
though she've said its isnt' my fault for upteen times; im sincerely sorry for being the cause of it
love is just so unpredictable~~
rightnow; many people are facing this problems
one sided love;two sided; or even a triangle
why am i still hestitating?
should i let go or just hold on? ; what if i choose the wrong choice ; make the wrong decision?
will i ever regret?
maybe i should just let nature takes its cause bahh
that goes same to you too;
darlingdon't worry so much yeah? im still here=))
shall not care so much; think too much; its only going to hurt me more
maybe a dose of them will be better
but i know its
impossible; because they're never here; only in my <3
i miss them dearly; to the extend that i wish i could fly straight into their arms esp hers
Good luck everybody once again; good luck to me too=))
am' still waiting for that most important luck; missing thou~
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
12:12 AM
Sunday, October 29, 2006
right now; i blogging at enter mac
my second home hahaha
with jz kor; peaced with him le.:D:D:D:D
did art today; researched about
Mother Teresa and
Elvis Presleyhahaha..did some sketching too; my art skill de-proved=((
watched the
Sinking Of Japan; not a show that will really impress you; but not that bad lahh
quite touching; but not that realistic as the graphics and animations are not to my expectation
so kinda waste of money ;
The Day After Tomorrow was a better show :))
now; jz kor is like freezing a snowman and he's tired ;
sehh~~SHALL NOT BLOG ANYMORE!
HUMPH!!
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
5:15 AM
Saturday, October 28, 2006
this post is specially dedicated to my one and only darling; Shamine Wee*ah buang*darling, i will never let you walk away; never i swear
i promised you once that i will not give up on you as a friend or sister
i will keep that promise still
although you'd neglect me physically; i'd too
but i know you had your own reasons behind all those ; i understand
and i'm sure; so sure that you will never break this promise too
cause i've that trust in you=))
don't shed a tear for i will shed mine too
remember? that's what we're suppose to do
we share the pain together; we cry together=))
that's what we will be; sisters forever
girl, don't feel lost kaye?
no matter how many obstacles; how many trees are blocking your way in the forest; i will try my very best to be there
be your compass to let you find your way
be your light when you're in your darkest moment; to shine your path and journey and lead you on
but it's your own decision then, to choose which path you want to go; its your choice your life
i only can advice and comment; but its you yourself to take the final step
just don't want you to regret or be upset=))
what can i say now?
i love you as a friend; a sister; and my bestie darling
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
3:58 AM
DARLING, i blog everyday to update you with my daily life mahh
nowdays can only see you once or twicel; so i want you to know what's
revolving around me! lols!
you know how much i missed you? omg; im not lesbian please; but she's my bestie darling=))
didn't blog about 26october2006; was too tired
i went school studied awhile and celest came to pick me from school
wanted to go orchard to get herself a suitable dress for friend's wedding; or go music clinic
but we went enter and ate sakae sushi instead; not enough time that's why
although its only a 1 hour or 2 of meeting up; but we sure chat about quite alot of stuff
after sakae; she sent me back to school for night study
then went south cc with jz kor and co
awhile later, celest; hongzhi; mark came to pick me from school opp
went to airport to send mark to mongolia=))
ate burgerking and off he go! hahaha
8 hours of flight.OMG
today 27october2006; i went study with jz kor ayl kor and perry in library
but it was only awhile; cause school has to be closed by 6; its a public holiday; no more night study too
supposed to meet celest to watch some performance; but rejected her.sorry girl!
jz's parents came to pick us; sent ayl kor home then us to braddel mac to meet darling
but darling called and said she couldn't make it; quarreled with her mom=((
so me and jz went to his house downstairs study ; mac was too cold
later darling called said she could come again for supper with her bro
me and jz walked back to braddel mac to meet her; but she had to go le!=((
omg! but i still get to see her
darling sorry i shouted at you and di siao you!.hahah. was urgent and phone no batt!
sorry okaye?=))
walked back to jz house downstairs; chatted until 11 plus
talked about our chalet; prom night and others
now; i'm having a war with him ; a misunderstanding
again i shall say
when can we stop quarreling or arguing?
why must you always assume things?
its just merely a talk on the phone; you know i can't concentrate well when im on the phone right?
i didn't like talking on the phone; yeah its true
but it doesnt mean i can't talk on the phone; i did conference with you guys too right?
i said sorry you scolded me back; i admit its my fault for being harsh
but sometimes i really couldn't understand; why are you doubting me?
i really did study; i did maybe not to the extend; but at least i've tried
you guys can play cards talk joke all these; why can't i?
once i pick up my phone to sms or what; you say me; what about you?
i really appreciate the way you guys care for me; but its just too unfair; isnt it?
i have my own freedom too; doesn't mean i have to study when i've free time
you think i don't wanna be as smart as you guys? i wish i am; i hope i can
i have my own reasons for not being able to sleep well; not cause of the talk; but is the loneliness i felt
you'll never understand; because i've said sorry for upteen times but to no avail
you said this
i don't quarrel for one sorry, for fuck sial, is uselessremember that sentence; don't say i didn't give in; it was your choice
leave or stay; i care no more; stop saying useless things like saying you're a failure or whatever to make us feel guilty
we've tried our best; or lets say i've did; i know you've too;))
i really don't wanna break this friendship bond between us; the four of us
one of us already wanna get out; im not allowing this
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
12:39 AM
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
finally gave jz kor his birthday present; glad that he loves it=))
went to school library study with ayl kor; jz kor; perry and my darling<3
but darling got cramp that's why cabbed home around 4 plus
take care my dear!Ms kavitha caught me
again for my attire; air-rifle shirt and shorts
she complained about my shorts and my belt
don't know what''s her problem; others always wear outside pants in too
maybe she's just against me? hahha! who cares
must forgive and forget=)); happy goes lucky! :D
moved out of library and to canteen
idiot benjamin took my hp when i wasn't looking; until jz told me
jackson; tengsian and benjee went toilet and spammed my hp with photos;
of themgot drenched under rain while we went to buy dinner from shop and save
hope none of us fall sick=))
completed maths paper 1 and two; so happy!
after that; me jz and perry wanted to walk our school corridor; which was super dark!
i walked halfway; perry scared me! so i pulled him back! ahahaha!
in the end jz challenged me scissors paper stone;loser night walk alone
ahahah! LUCKILY I WON!
not in the right mood to post le
to be continued=))
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
11:01 PM
had chemistry tuition in the morning=))
beginning to love chemistry now; making friend and understanding it
went school opposite study with darling; jz kor and perry
was super hyper at that time without any particular reason
but ayl kor wasn't there today; his godmom's birthday i think
did maths=))
later went enter with darling; meet colin and vinod; just to eat
snowicehaahah! ate mango snowice :D
darling went home after that; and i went heeren myself to buy jz's kor
long belated birthday present and aiai's oncoming's birthday present
both from
flesh imp; right now, im so
broke haha
realised i've been ultimately spendthrift; that's what everybody says
must learn how to save le=)) TRY
after that went back tpy to meet darling; settled down at enter mac wanted to study
but... later we walked towards safra to meet colin and friend; and jz kor to play pool
hahahha..however, there's no pool table
so we headed to snooker zone to try our luck; but collin they all couldn't manage to go in as they're underage
so we went back to safra again; this time without jz kor
played two rounds with darling and colin respectively; won=))
went off back to entermac find jz kor study; while darling continued playing
around 930pm; went playground looked for darling
had a short chat with her; its great=))
we both poured out our feelings and *secrets*
i just love spending time with her alone; sharing our stuff=))
rounding it up.12 more days to Os
omg! i still haven't start on my art researches and exploring
i still have hell loads of stuff to study!
really regretted for not paying attention in class since last year; especially this year
but; we can't cry over spilled milk, what i can do now is only try my very best; at least
it goes same to alvin kor too=))
jia you everybody!=))
after Os we shall rock one and another's life! haha! :D
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
12:22 AM
Monday, October 23, 2006
went to school library to study today.
with perry; ayl kor; jz kor; darling; ct
stupid; jackson; jeremy were there too
studied chemistry today=))
finally got a chance to talk to daphne mei today!=))
she told me about her story
sigh; things can always turn out unexpectedly
hope she and her mummy will be fine=))
stayed back for night study
hahah.. surprisingly kw kor and alvin kor were there too
they came school to study hahaha!
keep up it up brothers!=))
many people turned up for night study today
there were some kind hearted RJC students to help us; our tutorshahah
after night study; me and ct shared cab home; gave her a lift
whao.. i reached home around 930.its early! hahaha
then talked to espall mei;jeremy;yinglin on msn
feel rather awkard chatting with mei now; maybe cause too long le bah.haha
miss her hell loads! can't wait for Os to finish!
first time had a serious talk with jeremy; realised he's a rather nice guy to talk to;caht about studies thou.hahah!
time to sleep le! if not ayl kor will start his chanting again.hhahah!
hope jz kor leg will recover soon; then we all can go roller blading again!=))
shall study very very hard for Os and afterwhich; play as much as i can!=))
i beginning to love my life now; more independent
adapting to my this brand new life without them=))
but i still miss them thou<3
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
11:11 PM
just came back from yishun jetty; in celest new car
OMG! her car was effing gorgeous man!
black exterior and red black interior; deco-ed with HELLO KITTY
ahhh! im in love with her car!
and it's convertible!
when we reached there; many people were looking at us
hahah..there were manyother cars too. but not like hers lahh
more of the racing type ;initial Dhahha
did nothing though; just sit down there and chit-chat
after which around an hour plus; she sent me home=))
feeling rather restless now; tired
nights
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
1:07 AM
Sunday, October 22, 2006
omg! im dying of boredom now
stayed at home the whole day today!
suppose to have tuition but teacher couldn't make it last minute
so didn't study today as well; i just can't study at home
don't know why too
maybe will be meeting celest; hongzhi; mark later
celest said if meeting; she will be driving her car
omg! browsed through her photos; her car is simply gorgeous!
less than 2 more weeks to my chinese paper; hope i can get an A2
19 more days to my sweet sixteen
i've spent 10 years of my life studying and mugging; so this year bday means alot to me;don't know why too.=))
but ; there are missing people this year to celebrate with me
the way they'd try to make me smile when im down
the way they'd did stupid stuffs and make me laugh like an idiot
the way they'd stand by my side whether with their mouth shut or lending me their shoulders to cry
the way they'd help me through all my obstacles
and how they'd love me for who i am<
this year i will be blowing my 16 candles alone; or maybe with my buddies
but not with them=((
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
7:44 PM
Saturday, October 21, 2006
haha..didn't study much today.okaye.should say i DID NOT study at all.hahah
met darling today around 5 pm at enter mac
suppose to study awhile; then go play pool with her bro's friends
but the studying session ended up with some girls' chatting and giggling
hahha.
talked about jz kor; edmund ho and lewis kor
hahah..and some other little secrets of ours =))
it seemed as though we haven't meet for a long long period..
later; we went to eat snow ice=))
saw yian wei;jocelyn and friends
hahaha..then we went straight to safra
know 3 new friends today; lucas, colin and Vinod
3 sec 2 guys; find them rather jovial and out-going
1st game- me and darling
2nd game- me and Vinod
3rd game- Tag team-me and darling ; colin and Vinod
hahaha.. GIRLS vs BOYS
and we won! i shouted WHOO HOOO so loud! hahha
after that i headed home with my usual double deck bus ride
I LOVE MY DARLING
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
11:26 PM
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
A friend is like a flower,
a rose to be exact,
Or maybe like a brand new gate
that never comes unlatched.
A friend is like an owl,
both beautiful and wise.
Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost,
whose spirit never dies.
A friend is like a heart that goes
strong until the end.
Where would we be in this world
if we didn't have a friend.
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
11:32 PM
A fragile heart was broken before
I dont think it could endure another pain
But theres a voice from deep inside of you
Thats calling out to make you realise
That this new bond gives inspiration
To all who feel no love appeal no more
So how can I break this wall around you
Thats aiding both our hearts to grow in pain
So forget your past and we can dream tomorrow
Save our hearts for care and loving too
Its hard I know but oh one things for sure
Dont go and break this fragile heart
A hurting mind in need of emotion
I dont think I could endure another pain
But baby in you Ive found affection
Affection I have never felt before
So dont let your past
Destroy what comes tomorrow
Dont go and break this fragile heart
With all this fire that burns between us
Theres so much to lose yet so much more to gain
And if I could choose the world around me
The world Id choose would all revolve round you
So help me complete the game inside me
And help to mend to mend this fragile heart
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
2:01 AM
Love is joyful; when humour is there
Love is playful; when flirting is there
Love is cheerful; when smiling is there
Love is careful; when a stranger is there
Love is wonderful; when the feeling is there
Love is beautiful; when the heart is there
Love is plentiful; when charing is there
Love is blissful; when romance is there
love is painful; when selfishness is there
Love is harmful; when lust is there
Love is faithful; when trust is there
Love is powerful; when sacrifice is there
Love is truthful; when purity is there
Love is prayerful; when spirit is there
Love is everything; when God is there =))
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
12:37 AM
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
taking things for granted was never my style; i hope you are the same too
im not a subsitute neither will i become a replacement
its either take it or leave it
if you're still hestitating; then keep a distant away from me
i shall see see no evil; hear no evil; speak no evil
leave me alone;will you?
my tears are shedding; my heart is bleeding
im now inarticulate with abashment and regret
asking for your love is like crying for the moon; just a cry of despire
i have a strong aversion to you ; i have to conceal my feelings
just tell me your true feelings;will you?
stop torturing me
take me on this never ending carousel ride=))
just tell me WHY?
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
1:13 AM
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
I'VE FINALLY COMPLETED MY PATHETIC ART COURSE WORK!
credits are given to
AYLMER KOR- the one that helped me cut and accompanied me throughout the whole night.causing you can't even roller blade well..hahha!
SHAMINE DARLING- the one that insisted to cut but i refused! yet she SECRETYLY accompanied me thru' out the night at home givingmy moral support; and helping me with my support studies
ESPALL MEI and JODIE DEAR- the one that pei me during recess and helped me with my write out and support studies
HUIMIN MEI and SOPHIA and CHARMAINE MEI- thanksfor helping me cut and trim and helping me with my support studies
ALVIN KOR and KAHWAI KOR- thanks for the thumb drive and wasting that amount of coloured ink to print for me my researches
JINGZHIKOR- thanks for your nagging and moral support
MR LEONG- thanks for giving me some pictures and guiding me thru' these months!=))
last but not least
STUPID XIIAOJIA- thanks for giving me moral support and encouragement all the while. though i don't allow you cut=P don't feel useless just because you can't do anything. you've gave me inspiration!=))
THANKS EVERYBODY for your moral support and you guys non stop nagging..HAHAHA
you know who you are!
LOVE YOU PEEPS LIKE HOW I LOVE FERRERO ROCHER MAN!
i've finish art!! yay!!!
i don't know how to thank you people! but really really appreciate you guys hard work!
today was the best day ever! the four of us( espall;shamine;jodie;me) spent our times together happily!
long time never had this warmth feeling.
although its just a lunch at mac but i really enjoyed that moment!
the moment i see the 3 of them cracked their brains to help me with my support studies..
WHAO!! i love you sisters loads!!!
hahha! today i seem to neglect you again.SORRY LAH!
said to care for you to the maximum today de but no time..
who ask you go home so early?LOLS..kia su!
but i still got care for you mahh..hor? =))
thanks for that water.. but i don'tknow which idiot go steal my water!ARGH!
must be the haze that caused the temptation.LOLs
thanks loads!!
DARLING! hope you can recover well!
tml have to follow you go ice skating -.-
nvm! for my darling's sake.HAHHA
ONCE AGAIN! THANKS ALOT PPLE!
LOVE YA MUACKS!!
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
8:02 PM
Saturday, October 07, 2006
tell me what can i do in order to understand you
to know how you're feeling, what you're thinking
it hurts always seeing you hiding your saddness behind your smile
your masquerade were exposed as i see the way you looked me and the words you said
i know you're still thinking about the past
but please remain strong
you're always there for me when i needed someone to lean on;pour out things that i've been bottling up
yet; i can't do the same;
im never good at words nor consoling
i could only act in ignorance and smile
how useless am i
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
11:07 PM
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
God, please tell me what to do.
i really can't think of any other way to solve this problem anymore
just a small foolish step i've made has caused so much hurt and pain to my friends especially my darling
the problem lies on me
How can i even think of letting her sharing this pain im going through?
How can i be so selfish!
That's what friends are for; i know
But if i were her friend or even GOOD friend, i wouldn't even have hurt her
Im so sorry.
I promised i won't do it anymore, WHY DID YOU CUT?
Do you know how hurtful and painful to see those pathetic cuts on that hand that you use to hold me and hug me when i'm down?
i cried at jz's house there; you immediately hugged me
i cired is not cause i quarrelled with him.
the problem is i've caused everything. caused you being sandwiched by the two of us and even to the extend of hurting yourself
i'm at loss of words now
*my tears are shedding;my heart is bleeding*
''i put first, i'll pain together with you'' that's what she told me when she applied the ointment on her hand
''pain?'' that's what she asked when she applied it on my hand
''my hand doesn't hurt; is my heart, you're such a good pal'' that's what my heart was thinking
friends are always;sisters are forever
we laugh together;we cry together; we share our pain together=))
i'll never ever want to lose a friend aka sister aka darling like you
SISTERSforever
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
12:29 AM
i hate you today
just like everyone else
i need sometime
to myself
i feel like a wound
always bleeding
never healing
like an infection
swarming with disease
suddenly i need you here with me
to make it go away
but i know that it will stay
but in a second
a minute
a day
a year
the pain will still be here
the horror
the hate
i will never escape
untill i finally snap someday
She opens her eyes
but the tears
still blur her vision
she raises the knife
and takes a slice at her wrist
she thinks to herself
i can't believe i'm doing this
the blood leaks around her
and she closes her eyes
hopefully for the last time
her feelings are mixed
her emotions colliding
her hate for life finally rising
searching for a reason
to try to stop the bleeding
and regain the feeling
why is it my wounds aren't healing
searching for a hand to hold
a place to fit into the mold
but if i find myself
will my heart remain so cold?
Yrays of light shine and i bade goodbye;
12:19 AM
